Building a Compassionate Relationship with Yourself with Dr Hayley Quinn

Written By Jo Clark

What if the most courageous thing you could do is face your own suffering with kindness? In this powerful conversation with Dr Hayley Quinn, former clinical psychologist and wellbeing expert, we explore why self-compassion isn't self-indulgent but essential for survival. Hayley shares her raw journey from severe burnout that left her unable to get off the couch, through solo parenting and domestic violence, to building a thriving life on the Sunshine Coast. This is a conversation about the brutal cost of self-neglect and the transformative power of learning to treat yourself like someone you love.

Key Takeaways

Burnout Prevention Beats Recovery Every Time

The signs show up early: exhaustion that rest doesn't fix, rising self-criticism, declining resilience, unexplained physical symptoms. Hayley ignored hers until she was crying after client sessions, barely able to drive to work. Prevention takes less time and money than recovery, and symptoms can linger for years. Don't wait until you're forced to walk away from your life.

Self-Compassion Is Courage, Not Weakness

True compassion means facing your suffering, not bypassing it with toxic positivity. Hayley's inner critic told her, "You're a psychologist, you should know how to deal with this." Changing that relationship made all the difference. Start with morning check-ins: How did I sleep? How am I feeling? What do I need today?

The Three Flows of Compassion All Matter

Women excel at giving compassion to others but struggle with self-compassion and receiving help. You might not even notice when support is offered because you're shut off to receiving it. Practice all three: giving to others, accepting support, and treating yourself with the care you'd give someone you love.

Wellbeing Changes as You Change

What worked in one season won't work in another. This isn't set-and-forget. Hayley checks in multiple times daily, sometimes using phone alarms. Front-load self-care before busy periods and ask: what do I need before, during, and after? Build flexibility to adjust your approach as life evolves.

Moving Forward

Self-neglect happens in the small daily moments when you put everyone else in the picture but forget to include yourself. It compounds over time until you find yourself exhausted, resentful, or burned out. The antidote isn't adding more to your to-do list. It's building a compassionate relationship with yourself that allows you to listen to what you need and actually respond to it. Start today with one simple practice: slow down your breathing, take equal in and out breaths, and ask yourself, "How am I feeling? What do I need?" Then see if you can give yourself that. If you can't today, try again tomorrow.

Dr. Hayley Quinn's book "From Self-Neglect to Self-Compassion: A Compassionate Guide to Creating a Thriving Life" releases just before Valentine's Day 2026, with pre-orders opening 18 November 2025.

Join the book waitlist at drhayleydquinn.myflowdesk.com/bookwaitlist for exclusive bonuses. Connect with Hayley via her website, email, on Instagram, Facebook, or LinkedIn via links below,.

Website https://drhayleydquinn.com

Podcast https://drhayleydquinn.com/podcast/

From Self-Neglect to Self-Compassion Book https://drhayleydquinn.myflodesk.com/bookwaitlist

Free Resource  https://drhayleydquinn.com/resources/

Welcome to Self®: Time to Thrive Group Coaching https://drhayleydquinn.myflodesk.com/timetothrivewaitlist

Instagram https://instagram.com/drhayleydquinn/

LinkedIn Linkedin.com/in/dr-hayley-d-quinn-43386533

Facebook https://facebook.com/drhayleydquinnbrisbane

Connect with me

Remember, there's so much untapped brilliance in midlife women. You are wise, strong, and talented. You just need the space to hear yourself and the courage to act on what you know.

The second half of your life can be even better than the first.

Jo Clark
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